Shavuot Retreat

Just spent a week at the Isabella Freedman Jewish Retreat Center on an Elat Chayyim study week with Reb Zalman Schater Shalomi. We were preparing for the festival of Shavuot. A beautiful evening service outside, listening to crickets and frogs, singing our hearts out. Led by David Ingber. Just some notes and ramblings for here:
If you take on someone elses Torah, it doesnt work for you. How do you find your real teacher? It doesnt sound new to you: I knew that! What is the Torah that is coming down today? What are the issues that you need revelation this year? A prayer: I make myself soft and take on the shape You give me. Waiting to let go of my shtick so I can become who you want me to be. Our organs have to be in community with each other. And each organ needs to be itself in order to collaborate with each other. We are one body with different people in it. The organism needs differences. We cant all be the heart or the liver or the brain. The rings of the past in a tree are the old Torah. The growing edge, the cambium layer, is the Torah that will help me be the part that I am supposed to be. (Tree in YB) I will follow through, this is what I intend to do. If it restores your soul, it is good for you. How does the Torah become transformative? HOw do we upgrade the software? HOw do we make more sense of our world using Toraitic language? Its our own thing AND it is part of something else. AND, VAV. The mitzvot should be transformative. They are to refine us. SO we can become better and higher. Any time you are not learning Torah you are destroying Torah. Try 15 minutes of being a Tzaddick. What would you have to do? Place yourself in the presence of the Living God. The struggle between mitzvot and reality is important. Three things support the world: Torah (check) Good deeds (check) Avodah: what is that?? OUr prayer life. Chesbon ha nefesh, open and soft. Change your reality map to where your ideals are. Prayer: Impress me with the reality map I should have.
Psycho-semitic
Talked about tzedaka groups, communities, all people contributing to one area. How about the York Bay residents association having a special charitable fund or goal??
Counting the Omer, We begin with barley and end with a loaf of bread.
WHEn the Messiah comes, we will be able to read the white letters of the Torah. The female voice.
Person at lunch told me: Only 20% of the people left Egypt. 80% stayed behind in slavery.
Erev Shavuot: Walk in the woods, (tics?) Mikvah in lake